Some Days

May 4, 2017

I lay the pillows in a vertical line in my bed. It gives me something to cuddle up against, but the pillows cannot hold me, squeeze me tight, convince me that everything will be okay when I’ve had another fitful sleep broken up by nightmares. Sometimes I’d give anything for a big hug and a […]

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Just Take the Compliment

April 25, 2017

I was unexpectedly rattled by a post made by a friend of friends yesterday. I think I might have met the guy that one time, or maybe that was a different guy. It wasn’t who said the thing that made it rattling. There was a specific venom in his status update: “I have been hit […]

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Poem- Divided

March 13, 2017
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My father crossed the border into Alta California He was not sent He did not bring drugs He did not bring crime He was not a rapist Build the Wall Not far from my home protesters shouted hatred at busses filled with children–whose fathers like mine were Mexican citizens Protesters compared them to stray dogs […]

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Poem- The Last Day

November 18, 2016
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Tomorrow, I’ll clear the marigolds from the mantle and take down your poetry and know that I have grieved but I have not died Today is the last day that I will ask what-if hold my half of conversations that cannot be answered allow myself to live in the past Today is the last day […]

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Tea and Sympathy

August 2, 2016
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In today’s adventures of Crystal the Wonderklutz, I made myself a cup of tea. I made myself a cup of tea because I was woken up this morning to the sound of a ceramic bowl crashing off of my mantle into more pieces than I care to count. I’m borrowing a couple of cats right […]

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This is the House That Love Built

July 31, 2016
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I am okay. Today, I am okay in that there’s nothing particularly wrong. Some days, I am okay, in that the things that are wrong will not destroy me. Other days, I am okay, because I have to be, because to admit to anything else would loosen my grip on the shore and let the […]

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Poem- All I Ever Wanted

June 24, 2016
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All I ever wanted was to love and be loved Until I was married, then I yearned for kindness a safe place to grow to be I fought my way free to this falling Now I’m extending like a hand that no one else is shaking aching for an embrace to bury myself six feet […]

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Head of Household

June 13, 2016
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I think it was a combination. I had been pushing against the door for so long that when it finally opened I couldn’t help but stumble into the lack of resistance. It’s not that I liked the fight, it’s just that I was used to it, freedom felt strange, and I felt lost. Also, the […]

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Poem- Hope

April 9, 2016
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I hope I get to kiss you, someday just once and I hope it’s terrible I hope our lips get pinched against our teeth clanking together as our heads angle all wrong I hope we don’t know what to do with our hands and end up just standing there pressing our mouths awkwardly into each […]

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Poem- I Give Up

April 7, 2016
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I’ve tried to give up poetry but it keeps coming back It gets into my bones like the winter cold like spring love like my thoughts of you marrow deep If you want to love me give me up take up a hobby or a sport something that leaves you exhausted Then, if everywhere you […]

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