Poem- My White Hair

by Crystal Torres on October 29, 2012

My White Hair

I will not dye my white hairs brown
which isn’t to say I will not dye them
I am prone to fits of color
Indigo and violet still call to me
Wearing the rainbow
feels more honest, somehow
I’m every color
But to cover up just my white hairs
like hiding my scars
says that story is not there
I have not paced those sleepless nights
I have not cried myself to sleep
I have not wrung the what-ifs from my hands
It says I don’t want to own my age
and maybe I don’t
Maybe I want to be young and beautiful
Maybe I tell myself if I looked like her
I would have the love I gasp for now
but then I remember that I was young
and I wanted for love as sorely then
So let the white hairs come
and the wrinkles too
and I will still throw my heart
at those I cannot have
the inappropriate choices
the far away
the disinterested
My life will stand as proof,
and possibly as warning
Youth is no guarantee of beauty
Age is no guarantee of wisdom
I will trade the beauty I never possessed
for the wisdom I’ll never know
I’m still fueled by daydreams
still making promises to myself
of all the things I’ll do, someday
and making solemn declarations
of what I will not do
I will not dye my white hair brown

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